COZY NOOK

Only slender people allowed.

“Cozy Nooks,” the famous built-in breakfast nooks, featuring lifetime Naugahyde upholstery with genuine matching Formica table tops - any size, shape or style.

ARIZONA FIXTURE MANUFACTURING CORP.
Phoenix, Arizona 

SOFT WATER FOR THE 1%

The fantabulous new MILLIONAIRE supplies an abundance of soft water - hot and cold - for the needs of your entire family - even for friends who visit in your home. No adding of salt or attention is required generally for more than a year. Moreover, it softens water at half the cost of other domestic water softeners. There’s no other water softener like it!

Fantabulous! Fabutastic!

CAPTION CONTEST—China

10/23/11  8:33 PM:

Thank you for your captions! Love you all for playing!

The winner is dtxmcclain for the caption:

“I only said “yes” for the wedding swag.”

Congratulations, dtxmcclain! To claim your postcard prize, email me at bad.postcards@gmail.com with your choice of postcard from the list below and your mailing address.

The RULES:
1) MAXIMUM of FIFTEEN (15) WORDS
2) One entry per person
3) Please enter your caption in the comments of this post
4) Submissions will be accepted until Sunday, October 23 at 8:00 PM, EDT

The author of my favorite caption will have their choice of one of these original vintage postcards (all previously published on BAD POSTCARDS):

1) YOU’RE SICK SICK SICK!
2) APPLE
3) LARRY FERRARI—Radio, Television & Recording Artist
4) TIMMY THE TIGER, Cypress Gardens, Florida
5) GREEK SALAD

HAVE FUN and GOOD LUCK!

FRIGIDAIRE QUEEN

Now FRIGIDAIRE brings you FREEZING without FROSTING in the new ‘59 FROST-FREE Refrigerator-Freezers!

Repeat that sentence three times fast!

EXPERIENCE THE THRILL OF WORKLESS, ENJOYABLE WASHDAYS!

AMAZING FREE TRIAL OFFER!

Now you can actually use the famous Whirlpool Automatic Washer or Dryer in your own home for 10 days…and it won’t cost you a cent! Yes, we’ll install it absolutely free because we want you to experience the thrill of workless, enjoyable washdays.

VINTAGE ALTERNATIVE HEALING FANTASY

Housewife Winifred notices that Hank, her Duraclean Man, looks tired from a long day of cleaning and offers him a chair massage.

Hank, always the willing reciprocator at house calls, offers Winifred a “special” foot bath that will satisfy two of his fetishes: suds and feet.

Lively, colorful, clean — that’s the way all your carpets and furniture will look after they’ve been cleaned by Duraclean. The unique Duraclean absorption process literally lifts dirt from fabrics and fibers. Treats them gently, too. Your carpets and furniture will stay bright and clean longer when they’re treated with Durashield soil retardant.

THE BEST PAL A GAL EVER HAD

We are told that, as more and more states legalize same-sex marriage, this little girl will be able to marry her water softener. There goes the neighborhood.

DID YOU KNOW THAT SOFT WATER IN YOUR HOME COULD DO ALL THIS?

1. Save 50% or more of all the soap and cleaning materials you use.

2. Give softer and more manageable shampoos.

3. No bathtub or toilet bowl ring any more.

4. Washes your clothes cleaner because soft water produces no soap scum or curds that stay in your laundered clothes.

5. Guard your families’ health by filtering your drinking water of hard calcium salts and other foreign materials.

6. Keeps plumbing free of hard water build-up deposits.

…and, makes a better cup of coffee.

FOR ALL THE DETAILS ON COST AND INSTALLATION IN YOUR HOME - NO OBLIGATION OR HIGH PRESSURE.

HULTS SOFT WATER CO., MOUNTAINSIDE, NEW JERSEY

Wonderful, because I am getting fed up with all the scum and curds in my clothes.

DECORWALL

NOW It is no longer necessary to choose between expensive wallpaper and blank walls.
DECORWALL. The rich look of wallpaper.
NO GLUE
NO SEAMS
NO SMELL
WASHABLE
DURABLE
ECONOMICAL

NO TASTE

PLASTICS FOR THE HOME

I’ll take two plastic dresses, a plastic clown, and the stackable plastic bowls. Figure my bill, please. I’m running late for a Tupperware party.

This postcard is an invitation to attend a HALLIDAY Plastics Party. The poem on the verso is extra encouragement:

A HALLIDAY Party is to be
Of course you are invited
And if you like a fashion show
I know you’ll be excited.
Our private showing will be held
With fun and prizes too
And if you want to bring a friend
Why certainly—Please do.
On whom to count I have to know
And whether you can come
So telephone that you can go
And plan to join the fun.

MIRACLE IN MELMAC

Looks like she’s pushing a fart out. Sound effects for the shadow puppet.

Verso:
“Boontonware CANDESCENT. Modern dinnerware as translucent as fine china yet guaranteed against breakage. In sparking new colors, delicately flecked, that mix beautifully: Oyster White, Charcoal, Turquoise Blue and Shrimp Pink.”

FREE KEY CHAIN

Just come in.

PINK POTTY

The savvy housewife will purchase _____ toilet tissue for this bathroom.

a) blue

b) pink

c) yellow

d) pink

TEN BADDEST BAD POSTCARDS of 2010—#4
Your BAD POSTCARDS Blogger Reblogs Ten of his Favorite Postcards of the Year

HARTE’S WATASEAL. WATA great postcard! It’s advertising for a manufacturer of plastic products that were sold via home parties (like Tupperware).

Click HERE to view the original post.

WORLD’S TACKIEST LAMPS—PART 3

Need any more holiday gift ideas? There are these also:
DUCK LAMP
DEER HOOF LAMP 

Verso:
“We predicted this Doll Lamp would be as terrific in the lamp deparments as the Hula-Hoop was in the Toy Departments.
10,000 Doll Lamps shipped at $15.00 each in one year confirmed our prediction. $150,000 wholesale, - $300,000 retail…and they all retailed.
It is a hot item.
We will guarantee the sale of the first 3 Doll Lamps, which stand 28” high, in white, pink, and blue at $15.00 each.
Do not put off ordering—Do it today, right now.
With light under the skirt and under the shade. “
WILLIAM F.B. JOHNSON, INC.
J & Estaugh Streets
Philadelphia, PA.
New York Showroom
225 Fifth Ave.”